Raising Kids, Families, Co-Parenting, Healthy Choices, Behavior, Marriage, Divorce, Family Law, Communication, Trasnparency, and Children.
What To Do When… You Want Your Kids to Have a Good Life.
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The objective of the What To Do When… podcast is to discuss common legal scenarios faced by everyday citizens in Virginia. Critzer and Cardani practice law throughout Virginia and focus their practice around the state’s capital of Richmond, in the Piedmont region. Tune in and subscribe to learn about legal topics such as reckless driving by speeding, bad lawyers, Will Knows Weed, juvenile defense, juvenile sex crimes, reckless driving, the legalization of marijuana in Virginia, divorce 101, Child Support, There is Still Hope, and others.
Special Guest – William / Bill Faeth | marriagecounselingrichmondva.com
What To Do When… You Want Your Kids to Have a Good Life.
What To Do When… Intro 00:01
Welcome to What To Do When… A podcast from real lawyers with real perspective, where we explore a variety of legal issues and scenarios. Each week we focus on a new topic and discuss what to do when and if any of these legal scenarios ever happened to you or a loved one. With over 40 years of combined legal experience, our hosts offer their unique perspectives and insights on a range of real life legal situations.
Jackie Critzer 0:29
Hey, everyone, welcome back to another podcast here at Critzer Cardani in Richmond, Virginia. I’m Jackie.
Scott Cardani 0:34
And I’m Scott, Jackie, what’s on the docket for today?
Jackie Critzer 0:38
What To Do When… You Want Your Kids to Have a Good Life.
Scott Cardani 0:42
You mean modeling?
Jackie Critzer 0:44
Well, is it modeling?
Scott Cardani 0:46
It could be. But we have Bill Faeth with us today. We’ve been having these last couple podcasts with Bill. And we did his credentials on the first one. But I wanted to ask Bill, one question that he and I were talking off camera about is, Bill, you talked about your training in Cincinnati, just give us a little brief history about that, and how you were trained differently than some people were trained.
Bill Faeth 1:07
Well, for most clinical social workers, you train for two years after graduate school – about 3000 hours. And that’s for you get your license. Way back when I learned from people, serious therapists, psychiatrist and more. That’s just the beginning. So I decided to continue training in alcohol abuse, continue training in eating disorders, continued training in intensive therapy. And among things that did, I did train in Cincinnati analytic Institute – one of the intensively learned that we’re in the process. One of the big things they teach you there is called the use of self. Meaning, how to begin that seeing your own bugs and how they may play out and how not to work your stuff out and other people and ultimately how to be neutral in the whole process. Which I thought it’s a very powerful form of training.
Scott Cardani 2:07
Yeah. And that lasted that didn’t last 15 minutes?
Bill Faeth 2:10
No, it was it was two years of me taking therapy from the guy who became my supervisor, very, very renowned psychoanalyst. And then the next two years, we’re talking about cases, but he’d periodically call me out. Well, you think this is part of your issue here. So forcing me to look at myself within the process of doing the work.
Jackie Critzer 2:29
I think and you know, it’s funny, I think we as as counselors at law, walk through some of that as well, right? We all whenever we’re dealing with anything, I think we all have a tendency to see it through the lens of our own bias and our own experiences. What we do, though, is bit different than what you do and how your issues could provide a lens to to people you’re talking to I understand that would, that would certainly be different. But we’re talking today about giving your kids the best chance for a good life. Why? Why is that coming up? Scott, you said something about modeling?
Scott Cardani 3:05
Yeah – this is this has been, for my experience doing this work for the like I did, I was a teacher before this, and I was in youth ministry as a young guy. So I mean, kids and family has been my whole life, even though I don’t I wouldn’t have recognized that at the beginning. But one of the things I see is this thing of modeling in how our behaviors, and I won’t be able to talk about this, not me, because I’m not the counselor, but how our adult behaviors affect kids and how that plays out. Because I have found as a practitioner, as I bring up these issues of mom’s bad behaviors, or dad’s bad behaviors and how they’re affecting the kids. People immediately go, well, we can’t judge their morality, Mr. Cardani, it doesn’t matter that they’ve had 36 sexual partners in two days. You know, that doesn’t matter. And I’m always like, it does matter. And it breaks my heart because I’m sitting here this kid is dealing with this garbage and that is going to be their reality, because well, well you go ahead I will stop.
Bill Faeth 4:08
It starts when the kids are just born. The world they know that the the model they see your mom and dad and how mom and dad behave is what they learned is what’s real. They had first learned is that the language we speak, the same kid growing up in Poland is going to learn a different language than I learned if I let me it is and they’re going to see rituals and ways of behaving that mom and dad how you talk, how you walk, how you dress, all those kinds of things. But you know, it’s Ralphie in The Christmas story. Ralphie commented on it, but he’s out with dad their on the way to see Santa Clause and the tire blows. Dad gets cheap tires in the back. Mom says why don’t you take Ralfie with you. And Ralphie is holding the hubcap and dad bumps the hub cap and the lug bolts fly in the air and Ralphie says the F word. Dad gets back in the car and whispers ‘You know what Ralphie said the F word and she screeches. She doesn’t remember that dad uses the word five times a day in the basement between the clinkers. And she doesn’t confront him over that. They’re both oblivious what’s going on what’s Ralphie hearing and what’s Ralphie doing? We live in the world that almost enables everything is my truth kind of thing. And we, we need to realize things that I do impact people, kids who watch me doing it.
Jackie Critzer 5:37
While we have so many catchphrases, right? The monkey see monkey do, right? Do as I say, not as I do. That’s what everybody really wants to live by as well. I’ll tell you to do it the right way. But I’m, I’m gonna do it the way I want to do it and hope that instead of following my model of behavior, you do it the way that I want you to,
Bill Faeth 5:54
You’re making a powerful point. But the world we live in again, is because I’m the parent, I get to do whatever I want, it’s not going to impact anybody. It’s what I choose what I want to want to desire bla bla, bla, bla, bla, and the thought, there’s a world outside of me, ie have kids, and what I’m showing them is how to live and it might not be very good. Who’s calling them out for that?
Scott Cardani 6:16
And I’ll tell you as a guardian ad litem for years, and one of the things I want to bring up in this, and I’m gonna bring it right now I probably shouldn’t, we should probably start stop. Let’s start stop, because we did talk about that. You know, there’s these things of just say, trying to think of an example. But you brought up language sure behavior, like simple behaviors, like say, dad uses marijuana, you know, and he’s a frequent marijuana user. Is that a problem for the kids?
Jackie Critzer 6:44
Well, let me play devil’s advocate. Is it if the kid doesn’t know? Is it different if the kid sees dad blowing a puff of smoke, and says, Hey, Mom, does dad smoke? Right now we’re in kind of a different situation. But really where we were, you were saying the softer start, I’m not sure that jumping into marijuana and alcohol was a softer start. The softer start is the language, right? We’re having an eight month old at home right now, which most of our viewers and listeners know. When I go into her in the morning, she’s waking up, I sing to her. She is the happiest little girl you would ever meet. She is so joyful. But we sent her good morning and love you to sleep so great. And she sees her sister across the hall and she has just great big smiles for her. Because she’s seen my own behavior towards my other children and my husband and this this this is how we greet people we start the day this way. And and she you know sees the way well, how do you teach a child? Right? If she’s putting something in a bucket? You she’s she sees you put it in the bucket, she sees me put it in the bucket and take it out of the bucket. And then she goes well, I want to do that too. How do babies teach themselves how to eat?
Bill Faeth 7:56
But I want to add to what you’re saying which I learned at the analytic Institute. I call him David. Very Renowned psychiatrist, he told me go to a public place. Don’t act it out, sit there and pretend you have the expression on your face that you see. And what he taught me instantly what you show in your face, impact an emotion will show up. Tell me what you see an emotion shows up inside. And when kids see angry singing emotion. Happy, right? We are hardwired face to emotion. Hardwired.
Jackie Critzer 8:35
Wow.
Bill Faeth 8:36
And that when you’re yelling at each other screaming at each other, where’s the kid the kids going to see that? They used to look at it and you think that’s not hard? What just because they’re not they’re 2 there’s not some emotion going on when they see you having emotion or yelling or screaming? Of course they do.
Scott Cardani 8:54
Wow. I almost have to pause right there folks. I mean, you really need to take that in for a second. I mean that’s huge. And that should make us accountable at some level because it right now it’s I’m thinking in my own self and I’m like I could do better in some areas. You know because they are you right? They feel that emotion we try to say they don’t but…
Bill Faeth 9:15
If they see your face, and they will they will what does that face mean? And bingo. Something’s going on. It’s sorry. But
Scott Cardani 9:24
Is that backed by research? That’s just your thoughts?
Jackie Critzer 9:27
A little.
Bill Faeth 9:28
David. I don’t have the research in front of me. But David demonstrated how the research plays out you follow me? Yeah, that is research that’s known. I can’t cite it. That’s how they did it. Give me yes go sit and watch people have expressions Oh, bingo. Look at that. People think I read minds. I haven’t read minds. I have been forced to what is that emotion look, what does that face do? And we can probably feeling so when you say are you feeling so how do you know that? Because
Jackie Critzer 9:58
Because we wear our emotions on our face.
Bill Faeth 10:01
That was trained to, to, to know the words.
Jackie Critzer 10:04
Yeah, Wow. And then how that impacts not just your spouse, but your children. And how that behavior, you come home from work. It’s been a rough day at work, you walk in, you’re not happy to see the family, not because you don’t want to see them. But because you haven’t turned work off and you’re broadcasting. So when I say at home, I said, you’re broadcasting this. Why do you have such a grumpy look, I’m not grumpy. Tell your face, your face says you’re grumpy. And you’re impacted. I see it if I if I’m impacted by and I wouldn’t have ever said it so eloquently as you did when you said it’s the expression on the face direct is hardwired to the emotion, which is stored in the proverbial heart. Right, not the physical beating heart. That’s so it’s so poignant. I feel like it’s just sort of sitting really heavy in this discussion, but it’s so poignant. So if our expression is so hardwired to our heart and our emotion…
Bill Faeth 11:05
Can I add to what you are saying?
Jackie Critzer 11:06
Yeah.
Bill Faeth 11:07
Then people say, Well, I don’t have a choice. I’m tired. I don’t have a choice. Okay. We’ve always got a choice. Yes. You know, the web is the Battle of 1859 in the Harpers Ferry, what’s his name? Did that, you know, for purposes the guy who started the revolution. Wanted to Brown was anyway, after he was arrested, and they found Him for treason.
Scott Cardani 11:37
I know who you mean, I can’t…
Bill Faeth 11:38
Anyway. He was sitting on his own coffin, guarded by soldiers with sabers drawn and rifles nearby on the way to be hung. It was a November day, and he’s looking around, he said, Isn’t this a beautiful day. And the soldiers were perplexed that he could be up beat, while on the way it is execution. We always have choices. But the people and we’re talking about Israel these days, and Poland, when then, when they kicked everybody out in this 39, people took on the SS and held out in the ghetto for 39 days, and the only took him out, they made a choice, we always have choices.
Scott Cardani 11:38
Yes.
Bill Faeth 12:18
And so I mean, become a home after a bad day, they have a choice to breathe deep, say something different, you know, go sit in the corner for a while, but we don’t have to behave badly. Nobody drives us do that. It’s the laziness or we learned it earlier, this is what men do, or women or dads behave, we need to get over that we have a choice.
Jackie Critzer 12:42
Well, and so when we model this early emotional behavior, it only sets up an additional stream, if you will, of a further modeling in the behavior. Excuse me.
Scott Cardani 12:57
God bless you.
Jackie Critzer 12:58
And so when we talk in terms of divorce, and custody, parents who are going to counseling and modeling that thing, your…
Scott Cardani 13:07
You’re modeling some bad behavior right now, Jackis.
Jackie Critzer 13:13
Excuse me, talk more about that.
Scott Cardani 13:17
We lost you in your….
Jackie Critzer 13:19
I’m sorry. Oh, I’m so sorry. With the parents modeling, they can model good behavior, like go into counseling when they need it, and therapy. And if a child needs it, certainly following suit, but also bad behavior when parents are committing bad behavior. And I say committing?
Bill Faeth 13:34
Come on, nobody’s called out for bad behavior. It’s my truth. I get to do whatever I want. Get over yourself.
Scott Cardani 13:40
No, I mean, it’s the biggest lie. It’s the biggest frustration to me. So for instance, I’m the Guardian ad litem, I did tons of guardian ad litem, a lot of work for years. And I would be in this case where, you know, the mother is bringing home multiple partners every night, different partners, different people. And you know, in our in a custody battle, you’re picking sides. You know, that’s my job. And we’re court now and we’re trying to figure out how to work this out and there and the first thing I always used to get was like, Mr. Cardani you you shouldn’t bring up that morality doesn’t matter. It does matter. You’re modeling relationships to this kid you’re modeling sexual behavior with this kid. You’re all these things are being modeled. And I was like, I just get this deaf ear every time to it to the point where I’d be like, I’d leave sometimes so frustrated going like, these things matter.
Bill Faeth 14:31
Everything we buy everything we buy. If you buy a battery, I think there’s instruction manual how to follow me. Yeah, there’s everything except the human being. We live in the world with this. There’s no instruction manual. Well, there is called the Bible to the st. Thomas’s Summa Aristotle. There there is there is truths with learn to 1000s of years of history across cultures universally agreed. humans behave, do well doing X, Y and Z except the world we live in today where all bets are off. There is no, you know…
Jackie Critzer 15:05
No absolute truth.
Bill Faeth 15:06
There is no truth at all so that you do whatever you want. There’s no impact. We those things have evolved through time because there is an impact. It is known. You may not see it today, but you keep doing this. That’ll happen. Yeah, that’s written in books. And it’s known.
Scott Cardani 15:23
We say it all the time, like criminal behavior. I hear judges all the time, say, Well, you know, this behavior, your high conflict, divorce is going to cause your child to have criminal problems or other problems, drug problems, they’ll say that. But it’s interesting to me when we dive into this area of per… more personal choices, like sexual behavior or drug use casual alcohol use or whatever, and we go, Well, that isn’t the same thing. And that has a different and I’m like, No, it’s the same. For me. It’s the same because like I said, you know, we want our kids to have healthy relationships when they want to grow up. We don’t want our kids awaken to sexual behavior and feelings. Because again, seeing that sexual behavior can like he said, The seeing it can awaken emotion that a four year old has no idea what to do with that emotion. No, no processor for…
Jackie Critzer 16:14
A butterfly lives and not a cocoon a… What’s another word for cocoon? It’s a butterfly is in a….
Scott Cardani 16:22
Oh, you had to bring up that word. It’s…
Jackie Critzer 16:26
Okay, when it comes out when the butterfly comes out of it. chrysalis Yeah, Chrysalis. When the when the chrysalis is broken, and the butterfly begins to emerge. There’s no putting it back in. You can’t reseal it. And when it’s premature, right, this is exactly where trauma when you prematurely open that the world is not the same.
Bill Faeth 16:50
Lots and lots of data about kids being exposed to sexual either the viewing it or seeing it or it happening to them at younger ages, how they’re really kind of stamped with that it’s hard to get past to the rest of their lives.
Jackie Critzer 17:06
And sometimes we see it. So I want to back up.
Scott Cardani 17:09
Yeah, please do…
Jackie Critzer 17:10
You said, the modeling, and you linked it to the high conflict families in especially in juvenile court, because we hear from our juvenile judges all the time. The more often the parents are in court, the more likely the juvenile is going to be a delinquent. That’s just hard and fast. I had a judge say it again the other day, Judge Davis, she was substituting and Dinwiddie she said, Hello, by the way. But we have her every single juvenile court judge I’ve been in front of has said the those exact same things. But if that behavior, okay, this high conflict behavior that’s being modeled for the children is impacting them. Certainly, we can draw connection to the other behaviors that the parents are engaging in that is modeling for the children and what that line. So I think, hopefully we can we can cross this bridge a little easier by drawing that connection. If they already see it in the in the conflict, certainly, they can start seeing it in other behaviors, as well. But what was the next place I was headed was when we see families who the children, sometimes very young, are on the same iCloud as their parents, and the parent or the step parent has uploaded or downloaded or done something they didn’t want the family iCloud to have access to. But here we are, they do. And so here at their at their own hand, they’ve exposed their child. And and is that something that? I mean, if it happens once it’s accidental, but but how do we address that it’s still a modeling behavior, right? They’ve still impacted this child for a long time. How do we address that? How do we help these families move through and acknowledge that their behavior matters?
Bill Faeth 18:53
To do the unthinkable and to say there is truth, to say there’s right and wrong. That says there’s a way to live your life. You can just live it any way you want. And that isn’t said apparently judges don’t like to say that you do some sexual behavior do some things not you and to your kids but your kids are witnessing is that has no impact. Of course if his impact. For somebody confronted over that there may be some consequences even over that, that has to be permanent. So people wake up, you can’t just do anything without consequences.
Jackie Critzer 19:27
So if you want your kids to have a good life model a good life.
Bill Faeth 19:31
And before that, maybe even once in a while, think about what is a good life, read a book, check it out. Do something beyond yourself.
Scott Cardani 19:40
I think so often, what we’ve been trained in the art, especially in America, I think more than any other culture is that the short term microwave generation, so we never think long term how our behavior could affect our child. For instance, like you said, Here’s in The Christmas Story – All right, here’s dad cursing all the time. Mom oblivious to that. And then when Ralphie says it, it’s like a crisis and we’re like, holy, what’s going on?
Bill Faeth 20:11
And then Schwartz gets beat up.
Jackie Critzer 20:12
And then poor Schwartz.
Scott Cardani 20:15
When I was, if you go to some of these, like old cathedrals, or the Biltmore and all those places, and you, you look at the thought that went in, and they planted the trees to replace the board and 100 years, you know, they did all these things. I mean, their thought process was so far down the road, I never forget how blown away I was, I was at a cathedral. And there was this beautiful forest all aligned perfectly, all the trees were, you know, lined up. And I was like, I was thinking to myself, Oh, that’s so really cool how they did that. And then the guy said, this is here, because they thought enough. In 200 years, this building is going to need repair. So they planted the exact same seeds and trees, so they could use the exact same wood to fix what needed to be done. So this building could maintain his beauty.
Bill Faeth 21:01
You’re making a point that plays in a different way. The average retirement for somebody in their 60s was at 30. It’s a very small number, I forget 38 or 45,000, maybe less than $100,000 in retirement, for the average person. Because you want the iPhone, you want the newer car, you don’t want to keep your car, make it last 10 years want to get a new one. Because you want to go out to dinner big. There’s no thought, you know, what are you doing? That’s the metaphor. What are you doing with your kids and your family? Yes, your own your own lineage? Yes, the guy called Erik Erikson. It has eight stages of emotional development. And the eighth one is integration or despair. Old age basically, when you look at your life, are you pleased generally, with what you’ve done? We’ve all make mistakes is to it if we were to go back and redo all kinds of stuff, but it isn’t good enough. And an awful lot of people begin waking up after they’ve messed it up when they are in 20s and 30s. Oh, my God, look what I’ve gotten. My kids won’t talk to me. I don’t see anybody and you follow me. These good modeling results in good things later, follow me. You planted trees and it shows up, okay, it’s 50 years later, not 200. But you’re building your own future. Nobody thinks that way.
Scott Cardani 22:21
I remember an example. And I’m going to probably turns people off, but I just think it’s poignant, and had a guy who was struggling with porn, addiction to porn, which everybody says today, that’s not a big deal. I hear people all the time, and courts and everybody all that their addiction doesn’t matter. So he’s scrolling one day, and guess what he comes upon his daughter, in the very video that he’s watching?
Bill Faeth 22:45
Oh, my gosh.
Scott Cardani 22:47
It’s so impacted, impacted him and changed his life that he became this big advocate against porn and changed his whole life and his stripes because he realized my behavior. And we all know are in contrast to what you believe people in porn are usually not there because they like it.
Jackie Critzer 23:04
That’s right.
Scott Cardani 23:04
It’s one of the highest, you know, broken people.
Jackie Critzer 23:07
Yes.
Scott Cardani 23:08
You know, things like that. People will say, Well, I chose to be okay, whatever. I can go through all that and modeling and how you got there. But my point is, impact, and I always think of that guy. I mean, I tell you, I learned that at a very young age, and it kept me straight at times, you know, some of the things I want to do, I thought, could you imagine? Could you really imagine being in that situation, I think of that guy all the time, and I don’t even know but it was just a story I was told by a really good friend of mine and one of the guys who was trying to help me model good behavior as I was going through college and it just amazes me man, it’s that little simple thing. I couldn’t imagine getting there and actually seeing the product of your decisions right there unfolding in your daughter in a crazily unhealthy lifestyle. Reduced to an image on a screen and her I mean, her you know, her whole personhood has to be so rocked, and all those kind of things because you can’t live off that whether regardless what people say. So that’s what I’m talking about. I’m talking about these things matter, to that extent in in custody conflicts and things like that these things matter. Of course, everybody’s like you would say everybody has some bad behaviors, their model and nobody’s nobody’s perfect. You know, I’m not looking we’re not we’re not mediators or perfection or trying to get there but these certain things matter more than others, correct.
Bill Faeth 24:26
Nobody’s perfect, but I still think we have to there is objective reality. Objective reality, things are right, and things are wrong and they’re not called wrong because some church declared it because they’re all uptight. The church’s declaring it because that’s a history of wisdom.
Jackie Critzer 24:43
Sure.
Bill Faeth 24:44
These things are real. They’re not imaginary. Somebody’s not just being a fuddy duddy. You know, these things matter. And those rules that used to be followed, are all up for grabs. When I was a kid We lived in Cincinnati before moving to Florida and the priest, the Catholic Church was went into the street and movie theater was on the other end. On Saturday, he would park his car in the front of the movie theater. And if he thought the movie was not well rated, he would tell his parishioners and most everybody in whole area was his parishioner. You can’t go in there. Now some people still did they were you can’t see it. But he would see it parked his car, literally. And if we’re all the windows down, from here to you know, 10 feet away to the the way you buy your ticket. What are you doing? And after a while, the movie theater only showed really nice movies.
Scott Cardani 25:37
That’s funny.
Bill Faeth 25:40
But you know, there was a standard. He was wasn’t a fascist, but he was to try and enforce some things are good. And some things not. Yeah, there’s wisdom about that is it that it’s real, we can study it. It’s not all up for grabs. It’s not all whatever you feel is true.
Scott Cardani 25:57
The last thing I want to say, folks is these phones that we give these kids, and they’re modeling behavior for your children. They’re teaching your children, whether you like it or not the videos, they watch the programs, they see,,,
Jackie Critzer 26:11
Pinterest
Scott Cardani 26:13
Yeah, all of it. You know, there’s a modeling going on, that you’re probably very unaware of. Because we don’t pick up our kids phones and watch everything they watch it. I have parents all the time, say, Oh, I watch I know everything my kid does. I’m like, Okay, I’m a realist. I know, my kids are smarter than I am with a phone, they can get away with stuff. But the point is, just be aware that our behaviors and those things matter and what they’re watching on TV matters. And there is modeling and our kids learn from, you know, as Bill said, I think the prime example of that is when you’re a kid and you’re learning language, you don’t learn language, just by listening it, you learn it by everything, see what you see what you hear, and how it all puts together.
Jackie Critzer 26:55
Reflection…
Bill Faeth 26:57
Which shows up into parents face, yes, what they’re doing when they say it, you know, what’s the context.
Scott Cardani 27:03
All that stuff matters. And so, for me, this was, you know, a very important subject, and a lot of people don’t want to hear it. A lot of people be like, well, you know, you’re trying to add your morals. But as Bill said, there is objective truth, these things do matter. They do play out in our kids lives. And they do have consequences. I want my kids, all eight of them to have healthy relationships. I want all my kids to be productive citizens, and I want all my kids to, to model good behavior. You know, those are all important things to me. I want them to be healthy, wealthy, and wise, so to speak. You know, the old adage,
Jackie Critzer 27:39
The thought is put the forethought into your behavior, as it is an example for those that are watching you. Whether it’s as a business owner, or as a parent, or grandparent, people are watching you, and you are whether you like it or not, you’re leading other people, perhaps the next generation, or the generation after that.
Bill Faeth 27:39
Can I add an example that applied to me when I was doing training, the university had a video room, in the department psychiatry, that whole floor. And after five, it was available, very, very expensive tapes. And I began doing marriage counseling in that room taped so I can show a supervisor. And the first thing I noticed and was bothered by, I didn’t see anything about them. All my weird gestures, all the weird things I’ve been saying into. Oh, God, you know, it was it was to begin to see what I was doing was quite informative. For me. I didn’t know that. I didn’t know that either. But you know, to pretend as if we are always somebody’s looking at us. And then what what do people see, rather than everything is hidden.
Jackie Critzer 28:54
Yes.
Scott Cardani 28:55
And this attitude, that it doesn’t matter. You can live your life like it doesn’t matter. And we don’t want to live our lives controlled by others and what you know, what you think about everything I do, that’s true, but you want to think about what you’re doing and what you’re projecting and how you want to be perceived as, at least you should. I mean, I think that’s important. But you know…
Jackie Critzer 29:13
Well, importantly about your children, right? This is where we started is how to give your kids a good life. And really, it’s it’s about modeling what it is you want for them, not telling them what you want for them. But modeling for them the example, if you want them to have a savings account, teach them how to save, if you want them to be honest, tell the truth. You want them to make their bed every day, make your bed every day. It’s modeling that behavior. And if we can make that connection for families and for our judicial system that impacts families so heavily. Hopefully we can start leaning towards seeing that there are other behaviors that are being modeled that should be impacting custody determinations that sometimes they’re not.
Bill Faeth 29:55
You know, I think that’s it again.
Scott Cardani 29:58
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What To Do When… Outro 30:15
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